Both Sides of the Rail

As you're aware, I am, what they call, a Fangirl. From a very young age I've been interested in seeing celebrities, reading about celebrities, meeting celebrities, and getting my pictures with celebrities (and, apparently, it's done me well, considering I met my husband that way). 

It's not that I think they're "better than me" or anything, I just get a kick out of it. For years I've spent hours upon hours meeting celebs in various venues at Sundance, in LA, at conventions, shows, what have you. But, I'm happy that I've found what feels like a balance between "real life" and my fangirl hobby and don't really go out too much anymore.

Not that the life wasn't interesting, but it was, well, a hassle sometimes. Check out the picture above when Heidels and I got completely crushed trying to get a picture with Evan Rachel Wood. We failed. 

Life "on the rail" can be a real drudge. It's long hours, varying temperatures, annoying people, and you don't always get what you came for. It's a crap shoot. Of course, I've also met some of my best friends on the rail and there are always tons of stories, drama, and unexpected surprises. So, there's good and bad.

Now, it's true that I've been lucky enough to attend a bunch of events inside - either by paying for a ticket, or going to a SAG screening, and those are the types of events I prefer. But, if there's someone I'm dying for, I'll do the rail. Lately, though, Keith and I have been attending more and more events as GUESTS and not as the random people waiting outside.

It's a very strange feeling to be on the red carpet one day and behind the rail the next. I feel split in two. Which side to I align with? Where do I feel most comfortable? And sometimes there are SO many cameras! It's hard to pose that many times (I know, I know, First World Problems, right?). 

Last night we were inside an event (as you can see us on the red carpet above), but a lot of my collector friends were waiting outside. They were teasing me and asking for pictures and autographs as we came in, but I found myself wanting to see what was going on outside almost more than I wanted to enjoy the event and people inside.

It's a strange position to find oneself in. Even Keith notices how odd it is to play both sides. I don't have a point to my story or any type of solution. Just thought it was funny. All I know is that we have plenty of more red carpets coming up, so I need to start practicing those poses! Oh, and maybe lose 3,000 pounds. :)