Does He Think We Won't Notice?

Dear Jason,

I'm a bit confused by your hair choice as of late. You see, America grew to love you as downtrodden and overreactive, George on Seinfeld, who, I might remind you, was BALD. As are you.

Now, I get it. You want to look younger, you want to feel spry and attractive, fine. But, sweetie, that ship has sailed. You're bald and we all know. Take the wig off and embrace it. Because it's too late to try and "Travolta-fy" your head now. Nice try, though.

Sincerely,
Pinky Lovejoy-Coogan