So, yesterday I got a text from one of my ever-present ex-boyfriends who said he missed me. Thinking he was most likely trying to "sext" me, I wrote back, "Oh, you miss all the physical stuff?" And he replied with: "That too. But, no. I just miss you and your laugh and your happy everything. Seriously. Yes, you turn me on more than anyone I've ever met. Yes, I miss the _ _ _, but there was this underlying friendship and companionship and fun that was building until I ruined it. I regret it and I'm sorry. So, I consider myself lucky to have what we do now."
Here's the thing: I adore this person as a friend. I adored him as a boyfriend and thought we were perfectly matched. It destroyed me when we ended. But. He. Is. Not. Allowed. To. Miss. Me. When. It's. His. Fault. I'm. Gone. Yes, he will most likely be pissed that I posted this, but I don't care. That text enraged me because there was a time I would've moved mountains to be with him. He can't look back over the years and wish things were different, because had we stayed together, I really think we would have still been deliriously happy together to this day. Sure, it's easy to say that now....and it's not like we'll ever know one way or the other because he's now married to someone else and I'm pining over someone that's never going to feel the same (but what else is new?). I don't really have a point to my ranting. I was just annoyed. Nothing new.
So.. yeah. This post is eerily similar to what just happened in my own life. I have an ex who likes to reappear in my life every couple of years or so. As if time stood still since the last time we were actually happily together or something. As if we didn't break up in 2005. As if he didn't cheat... and didn't make try to convince me I couldn't do better. UGH!. You're better off ignoring him. I'm doing my damnedest to do the same. It sucks because... at the end of the day... you can't feel hurt now if there wasn't love there at some point. But... it's better to move on when the love that was there is no longer the same. Keep your chin up, Pinky!
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