Hurry Up Already

So, I've got a theory about the mail. It seems like when I lived in Utah, anything would ship out and arrive at its destination in about half a second. Seriously, if I mailed something to California or Arizona on a Monday, it would arrive by Wednesday. Guaranteed. Always. But, if someone mailed something TO me, it took forever. And now that I live in California, everything takes a ridiculous amount of time to arrive anywhere. Why is that, you might ask? I'm glad you asked. You see, my theory is that things don't want to leave California! When mail leaves Utah, it's ready to get the heck outta dodge, so it does so very very quickly. But when it's going TO Utah....um, nope. It'll take its own sweet time. What else would explain it? So, all my Utah friends, my sincere apologies for the neverending amount of time my packages are taking to arrive. I did get them out....they're just not anxious to go to the snow (which I totally understand). Heck, I even paid for two-day on my OCT package...and still took its sweet time. Blurgh.