An Open Letter to The Loudest Man Alive

Dear (way too strong of a word, but I'm *trying* to be nice here) Cube Mate (otherwise known as The Loudest Man on Earth): We can hear you. When you talk to yourself, spit out your incessant sunflower seeds, or constantly sigh, moan, and whisper, other people can hear you. I'm not sure why you don't realize it, but I'd really appreciate you knocking it off. Either knock it off, or I'm going to kick you in the shin. OK, not really, but still. I pretty much hate you and your neverending noise. STOP IT. Regards, Pinky Lovejoy