And The Award For Most Annoying Goes To....

Now, as we all know, I love my job. I am honestly, hopelessly, giddily in love with anything and everything having to do with this place. That is, except one little thing. One teensy tiny little thing....which is the a$$hole sitting next to me. And so today I'd like to present an award for Rudest Person Alive to the idiot sitting behind me. What makes him such a joy, you ask? Well, when he's not loudly chewing and spitting out sunflower seeds (which I can hear even through headphones),

he's burping. Out loud. Not quietly. Not apologetically. Burping. Continuously.Oh, wait. There's also the slurping. Have I mentioned the slurping? The long, neverending bowls of soup and/or cereal that is loudly slurped at every bite?Even better? He talks to himself. Out loud. Repeatedly. Consistently. Thankfully he doesn't answer his own questions, but still. It's not fun.

And what am I doing through all of this? Plugging my ears. Cursing his name. Turning up my music to drown him out (to no avail). Wishing a piano would fall on his head. Sadly, I can still hear the chewing, the burping, the slurping, the talking, and, oh yeah, the humming (!). Kill me now.