An Open Letter to Matthew Mc-Con-A-Hottie

Dear Matthew Mc-con-a-hottie, Listen, sweetie, you know my love for you is deep and true, so writing this pains me as much as it pains you, but it needs to be addressed. Last night your latest movie The Lincoln Lawyer premiered and I have to say, I'm not impressed with you at all. Fans waited hours and hours to meet you and instead of signing autographs or posing for pictures, you walked over and shook hands. Um, what? Who wants that? Your handshake is about as helpful to a fan as some half-assed wave. Forget it.


After the film, my friend asked you for a picture and WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT HER, you said, "I'm just going to keep on walking." WHAT?! Look, I understand being over the celebrity thing and maybe not wanting to do anything, but: 1) It's your premiere (and, as I recall, you haven't really been working much. Wasn't your last film the tragic Surfer Boy?). 2) There's never a reason to be rude or treat someone with disdain. Are you trying to sink your career? 3) Would it kill you to sign or pose? Hell, even douchebags sign. Are you trying to be worse than a douchebag? Next week you're promoting your film - I suggest trying to get on board with appreciating your fans. If not, I'm afraid we're going to have to beak up. And then your life would be truly over. ;) Disrespectfully yours, Pinky Lovejoy