Working to Live

When I lived in Italy, they had a saying that hit close to home. They said Italians work to live, but Americans live to work. When you think about it, it's true. From the time I was young, I've had a job - beginning with cleaning my dad's office in elementary school and then getting my first "real" job at Sizzler when I turned 16. Whether it be waitressing, office work, or retail, I've been working constantly for the past 20 years - often times working two or three jobs at once.


So, I don't find it all that surprising after all this time to need a little bit of a break. Since I've been in California, I've spent a lot of time finding my joy, doing activities I love (that not everyone understands) and spending time with those I love. I don't find this to be alarming or make me any less of a person. In fact, I think it shows courage and strength - anyone could work at the same job forever doing the same thing and being complacent - I choose not to. It's the same way I felt about my marriage. I want more for myself and more for my life. I will find my way. I will find the perfect path for me. But just because I haven't found it yet, doesn't mean I'm a lazy, worthless person.


When I was in Utah, suffice it to say I had some less than stellar habits. I made a lot of poor lifestyle choices and am very lucky to have walked away relatively unscathed. But, I had a job. Does that mean the rest of my choices were OK just because I made money? I don't believe, nor have I ever believed, that money makes a person better. The lifestyle I live now is much calmer, safer, and my choices are 1,000 times better than what they were. So, no, I won't be made to feel badly about myself just because Taco Bell or some other dead-end job isn't paying me minimum wage. I'm working on adapting the "work to live" motto in my own life and will find my bliss in time. I love that those who know me well aren't even the least bit concerned about my job prospects even when I start freaking out. Especially McH - she never doubts my abilities and has the ultimate faith that I'll find what I'm looking for in good time. I love that. I love having my own personal cheering section - everyone could use some cheering on.