Things I Don't Understand

There are a few things lately that I don't quite understand. Because I'm nice like that, I thought I'd share a few of these with you.


Now, I may be the only person in the world who thinks this way, but nothing about the entire Fockers franchise is funny to me. Not a thing. I cannot sit through a movie to save my life - I just don't think they're clever at all. The only part I enjoy is Owen Wilson, but even he can't save these films for me. I know a lot of people like them - I just don't happen to be one of them.


It's been raining here constantly for at least three days. Seriously, constantly. I'm afraid an ark is going to pass by us soon. It's crazy.


I love this picture of a girl with her ex-boyfriends reflected in the background. Isn't it cool? (sorry, I got off on a tangent there...). So, Neverending Boyfriend keeps calling me and leaving messages. Here's the difference between me and him - when I leave him a message, my voicemail sounds like this, "Hey babe, it's me. Give me a call when you can." On the flip side, when he leaves me a message, you'd think we've never met. His voicemail sounds like this, "Hello Juliet*, this is Romeo*. I was calling to say hello. I hope you are well. Please return my call at your earliest convenience. Again, this is Romeo." (*please note that the names have been changed to protect the innocent). Here's the thing - I have caller ID. I already know it's him, so his name is superfluous. Also, I've known him for 25 years and he's got the World's Most Recognizable Voice, so I'd know it without the caller ID or his telling me his name over and over. I'd know his voice if he were trapped under rubble and calling out for me ten miles away. Why the formality? I don't get it.


Speaking of odd phone calls, an old friend keeps calling me from a blocked number. Am I insane, or don't you only use a blocked number when you don't want someone to know your number? Why would he keep calling and then give me the number? I'm so perplexed by this.


I seem completely unable to not watch a movie when it's shown on TV despite owning it on DVD or VHS or both. What is that? I mean, on TV the movie has commercials and the curse words are bleeped out....and there I am glued to my chair. Today was You've Got Mail. Man, I love that movie.


Yesterday was even worse - not only did I watch Elf on DVD, but then it came on TV, and I watched it again. WTF? I need a life.