Dear Michael Cera: They're called socks. Look into them.
Dear Megan Fox: I believe you accidentally put on your six-year-old stepson's shirt instead of one of your own. It looks a *wee* bit small. 
Dear Mischa Barton: We're looking. We don't know at what, but you've obviously got our attention. Now wear something normal. For once.
Dear Mira Sorvino: Why is it that when I look at your dress, Debbie Gibson songs pop into my head? Any idea?
Dear Rumer Willis: Stay out of your mother's closet. She could get away with the sexy shirt and tie (and not much else) look; you, however, couldn't even pull off the prettiest dress in the world as your face will always get in the way.
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