Weird, Wacky, & True

In today's case of What-The-Hell-Were-You-Thinking, a man in Germany married his cat. Yes, I said cat. Apparently he learned that his cat didn't have very long to live and thereby wanted to do the right thing and make an honest woman, er, cat, out of her. Here's the happy couple taking their vows. I love the cat's bridal outfit. I wonder if her dad walked her down the aisle?

Ah, yes, you may now kiss your bride. What happened to the cat's veil? All I know is that if this marriage was consummated, I'm going to throw up in my mouth.Perhaps the weirdest part of this story was that someone would actually perform the marriage ceremony. I mean, seriously, how would you do that with a straight face? One look at that cat dressed all in white and I'd piss my pants. Did they have to register? Did they get a marriage license? Did the cat take his name? So many questions....Now, in today's Are-You-Kidding-Me-With-These-Headlines, we visit people.com for their embarrassing stories of the day. Wow, forget the oil spillage problem or bomb threats all over. Obviously the top story of the day should be how some lady meets Sandra Bullock's baby.I'm sure Dominic Cooper (aka Amanda's boyfriend) was thrilled to see this in print. How proud and happy he must be. And if they do go on to get married, their children will have the pleasure of finding this one day and thinking their mom was a flake.Ah, yes. The age old question: Motherhood or the Moon? Every mother at one point or another must deal with this, right? Oh, wait. No? This isn't common? My bad.

In related breaking news, Amanda Seyfried also breathes, goes to the bathroom, and has skin! Pull it together, people.com. You're really losing it.