Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

One year ago today (not that I'm counting....), AFMF and I broke up. Well, to be fair, AFMF broke up with me. As we all know, I had no part in that separation - if it were up to me, I'd be putting up with his sh*t for the next 50 years. I'd be an emotional mess, sure, but at least I'd have the "big prize," right? Wrong. I know, I know, he wasn't the big prize after all. He was a stepping stone and an aid to help me open up for the next one. Logically all of this

makes sense - I mean, how could it not? I'm a fairly rational person, I can understand logic. But my heart....that's a different story. One year later and I'm still unable to get through a day without thinking about him. One year later and it's still hard for me to say his name.

One year later and I still don't feel totally like myself. Granted, I've made progress by leaps and bounds and I'm infinitely better....but I still feel he owns a piece of my heart. Perhaps he always will?

I'm moving on and looking forward and while it's true that I can't get through an entire day without thinking about him, I can get through an hour; I can get through half a day; I can go weeks without crying. Now, that's progress.