An Open Letter to Ellen DeGeneres

Dear E (may I call you E? I can? Awesome), Kudos and congrats on your recent career success which is bringing you one step closer to world domination. You've got a top rated show, a beautiful and loving wife, and are a welcome addition to American Idol. In fact, I can only think of one thing you're missing - Pinky Lovejoy! Luckily, I can remedy that. You see, E, we're kindred souls, you and me. We both did stand-up comedy, we both like pink, we're both a little quirky, we're both blonde, and we're both hysterical (and modest, apparently). How great would it be to have Pinky Lovejoy on the job at all the big (or even small) celeb events? I could be your Ross the Intern - only funnier and pinker. Together we would make Pinky's Piece (the name is up for discussion - nothing is set in stone) the talk of the town. Think about it. Seriously. This is a great opportunity for us both. E, I love ya. Your book "My Point and Did I Have One" is one of my favorite reads. You're adorable. Look me up. I just know we're destined to be BFFs. Adoringly yours, Pinky Lovejoy