I've been thinking a lot about timing lately. As we all know, my last two relationships (
AFMF and M) ended with fairly devastating results and it seems for the past few years, I've been a "stepping stone" for guys to transition back into love with. After my last several beaus were all either newly divorced, separated, or recently broken up with, my sister deemed me the "Transition Queen" and suggested it might be my purpose in life. Hmmmph.
I don't necessarily disagree with her, I just think it's interesting how things turn out. See, the ones I've been getting on the rebound are bitter, angry, withholding, moody, and needy (
so, naturally, I'm completely and totally drawn to them - duh. Where do I sign up?). Yet they've told stories or shown pictures that indicated to me they weren't always this way. At one point they were kind, loving, emotional, giving, and nice.
Not to me, obviously, but to someone else. 
The reason I'm bringing this up (
in case you were wondering) was because I recently started hanging out with someone new, but now the roles are reversed and I've become the mean one. Granted, nothing is ever going to happen with him and it's not really something I'd ever seriously pursue, but, you know, sometimes he's fun to hang out with. That's it, though. I have no interest in getting to know him very well or even trying to make it into anything more - my heart is too fragile and damaged to enter that arena again
(plus, if I were to be honest, it's already spoken for....). So, the version of me he's getting is the exact same one I got from the exes: mean, withholding, bitter, and angry. In fact, he calls me an Ice Princess and thinks I have no emotions - which is true. I don't have any emotions for him. I am mean. I'm exactly how I hated people being to me. Is this how it works? Are my exes nicer to the next people? Will I ever not be angry again? I think in this case, timing is everything. Someday I'll be able to be me again - that is, the nice, kind, giving, sensitive version of myself. But for now, I'm an Ice Princess. Hear me roar.
I've been thinking a lot about timing lately. As we all know, my last two relationships (AFMF and M) ended with fairly devastating results and it seems for the past few years, I've been a "stepping stone" for guys to transition back into love with. After my last several beaus were all either newly divorced, separated, or recently broken up with, my sister deemed me the "Transition Queen" and suggested it might be my purpose in life. Hmmmph.
I don't necessarily disagree with her, I just think it's interesting how things turn out. See, the ones I've been getting on the rebound are bitter, angry, withholding, moody, and needy (so, naturally, I'm completely and totally drawn to them - duh. Where do I sign up?). Yet they've told stories or shown pictures that indicated to me they weren't always this way. At one point they were kind, loving, emotional, giving, and nice. Not to me, obviously, but to someone else.
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