Negative Pink

I don't know why this is, but I'm not very optimistic when it comes to my own life. I mean, I can rally if need be, but most of the time, I'm looking at the bad side. What's that about? When it comes to other people, I'm the most Positive Pink you've ever seen. But when it has something to do with me, my mind will automatically think of of the worst possible scenario. In fact, I've given good friends the keys to my place just in case, for some unforeseen reason, I die in my sleep and no one knows or cares and my decaying rotten body is laying there for days on end. Who wants that? I've read The Secret - I should know better, right? Am I bringing bad things upon me, or am I just cursed to always see the negative? How did this start? I suppose being disappointed one, two, or fifty times starts getting to someone. I wish I could be different. It seems like it'd be better to be Positive Pink all the time. Perhaps I'll start slowly and try to see the good in things. I've got to start somewhere, right? :)