It's A Miracle! Another Bachelor Wedding

Although I’d like to say I didn’t watch The Bachelor wedding because I have better things to do with my time, alas, I fear I was pulled in after all. Stupid Chris Harrison, luring me in with his subliminal messages. That has to explain it, right? So, after watching the entire wedding special, I’ve got a few thoughts (of course): 1) Where the heck was Ty? For a show that did nothing but play up the single dad angle with Jason, he was certainly missing in action last night. I thought they should do something cool at the ceremony to bring Ty into it. But what do I know?2) Why did all the guests have umbrellas, but no one thought to cover the bride and groom? Seemed a bit ridiculous. Obviously it was going to rain – would it have killed them to put up a tarp or have someone hold up umbrellas? The bride and groom were SOAKED. So much for the expensive hair and make-up. Poor planning.3) Enough with Trista and Ryan, ABC. We get it, OK. They’re happy, you’re a success, blah blah blah. If I have to see them shoved in my face one more time, I might just vomit. As a side note, when they took a moment during the ceremony for the guests to think happy thoughts for the couple, I’m certain Trista was sitting there thinking, “Hey! They didn’t do that for MY wedding. Can we do it again? We don’t get enough attention as it is.” 4) Why did they have SO MANY people from past seasons? Seriously, they were the oddest choices. I mean, Jesse, Kiptyn, the lady with a kid who loved Jason (why would she want to watch him get married???) were bad enough – I’d guess that half those guests were from the show. Did they even know each other? I loved how they said they were texting each other and would have to hang out again soon. Like being on the show makes you an automatic bestie? I doubt they’ve even met.5) Jillian & Ed? Love them. Sarah & Charlie? Looks like Charlie still has his commitment issues. That is one patient woman, I tell you. Jake & Vienna? Gag. DeAnna & WHAT?!?! Did anyone else find it so so so creepy that her new boyfriend is the IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER of one of her cast-offs? I mean, ick. Couldn’t she find someone’s heart to break who wasn’t related to the show?6) Chris Harrison needs to take it down a million levels. Calling this “the most anticipated wedding ever” was absurd. I mean, aside from us Bachelor geeks, who really cares? Yes, it was entertaining and sweet and I enjoyed it, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been waiting my whole life to watch it.7) Was it just me, or did they made quite a big deal about the “if anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace” bit? Did they think Melissa was going to appear from off her honeymoon and try to get him back? Puh-lease. 8) I thought Jason and Molly were adorably happy and wish them all the best. 9) Where were Byron and Mary (aka that crazy lady who beat him up)? Guess their relationship went to the same Bachelor Relationship Graveyard that the rest of them go to.10) Jason’s dad giving him an impromptu “I’m proud of you” speech in the middle of trying on suits was a little much. They were already loading it on pretty thick. We didn’t need something like that to add insult to injury.