An Open Letter to Jonah Hill

Dear Jonah, Seriously, dude, WTF?!?!!? For the past three days I've tried earnestly to get a good (although I'd accept decent) picture with you and each time the picture ends in tragedy. I don't understand; it really shouldn't be this hard. I've got hundreds of pictures with much bigger and smaller stars and they're all able to look fairly decent (with the exception of Ben Affleck who was somehow afflicted with wacky face at the time the picture was taken). Let's review, shall we? Attempt #1: I realize you had to rush out after your screening, but really? You couldn't have just gotten closer to me and resisted the urge to have lazy eye? FAIL. Attempt #2: All you had to do was look up and this would have been fine. Why do you have to be such a douche? You're so funny on the movies.....it seems like you should be jollier in real life. FAIL.

Attempt #3: If you'll recall, I explained to you that our last two pictures were tragedies. This should've encouraged you to TRY to look like you give a crap. You don't have to smile. You don't have to do anything except keep your stupid eyes open. WTF??! FAIL. Oh, and by the way, it's not my camera's fault like you said. Apparently you're just unable to look good.

Try not to go out into public and take pictures if you're going to look like that, OK? Thankyouverymuch.

Disappointed,

Pinky Lovejoy