Thursday, October 1, 2009

Queen of Denial

Yesterday I had what could possibly be my last therapy session (at least with my current therapist). She thinks I've made a lot of progress in our past sessions and says I do have a lot of good instincts. The problem is that I don't follow said instincts. I can look rationally at a situation, know it's going to end badly, and yet still embark into it. The last time I saw her and I told her about being with M she said I wasn't ready for a relationship; I said, "I know, you're right, I'm not." Then she asked me why I was doing it when I knew I shouldn't be and I didn't have an answer for that. I don't know why I go against my instincts. She told me instead of trying to figure out why I do things, I should work on changing my behavior, which is good advice. I think I have the tools already, I just need to start using them. Or, I suppose, I could continue to make crap decisions, but then I'll never be happy, right? Then again, is anyone really ever happy? Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, my migraine is still in full-force and making me crazy. I'm thisclose from cutting off my head.

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