An Open Letter to Facebook Corporate

Dear Corporate Office of Facebook, Recently I saw a picture of your updated offices in Palo Alto, California, where apparently you staff a ton of people to work for you. I'm writing you today to let you know that I'm available to start whenever you'd like. In fact, I could start tomorrow. Perhaps you're not aware of my skills, but I'm a certified Facebook Junkie, Facebook Pusher, and Facebook-a-holic. I've turned all my friends onto the wonder that is Facebook and look at it obsessively all throughout the day. There's nothing I would be better at doing in this lifetime than working for you. I don't care where I start. Need a secretary? I type over 65 words per minute. Need a marketing specialist? I'm your girl. Need a customer service representative? I've got many years of experience. Need a janitor? Well, maybe not that, but you get my drift. Please let me know where to send my resume, how much you'll be offering for my moving expenses, and when you'd like me to start. I look forward to expanding the world of Facebook into the next century. Your obsessed newest employee, Pinky Lovejoy