Don't Worry, My Shelf Will Catch It

So, I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but apparently my chest has become a shelf that anything and everything falls onto and into. It's gotten so bad that I routinely have to wear a bib (usually a napkin) while eating so that I don't ruin every single item of clothing I own by spilling everywhere. How do you stop this? The other day at lunch my friends were teasing me and saying they should buy me an actual bib to carry around with me. Um, no thanks. It's bad enough that I tuck the napkin in at almost every meal....but what choice do I have? At least I've stopped staining everything I own. Stupid shelf.