Chilly Willy Frightens Children

My friend (who has asked to remain anonymous, since she's horrified by my dirty mind) brought this monstrosity to my desk today at work thinking I might enjoy the pattern as a crochet project. Um, no. Let's take a look, shall we? What exactly does this look like? Something sweet and simple? Something I'd love to pass along to close friends? Heck no! This is some sort of baby porn! Who would think up a milk bottle placed in this position? My friend Matt named it Chilly Willy. Appropriate, no? :)