Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Fickle Pink Heart

And so it is with every relationship where you reach a fork in the road and have to decide if you're going to move forward or move on. I don't even know that it's necessarily anyone's fault (although, of course it's his, right?), but I fear it's time for it to be over (or at least drastically change forms from what it currently looks like). Last night I finally hit that point with N and now need to decide what to do from here. While it's true I've been learning a lot (both about myself and relationships in general), I've also been pretty unhappy and crying a lot. How is that a good way to be? I have a hard time asking for what I want and/or need, so maybe the fault is mine; I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is that I can no longer live like this and something needs to give. As much as I adore him and enjoy being with him, those feelings aren't going to sustain me through my seemingly daily heartaches. Time to go back to meaningless one-night stands and losers (just kidding - in all reality, I should just be alone. I'm much better that way).

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