While part of me would like to vent and moan and cry (well, I am crying, but I mean if there was a written form of crying), I'm not really sure what good it would do. I've been up most of the night, unable to sleep due to an upset stomach and too many negative thoughts in my head. I can't figure out what's going on and I fear the worst. I know it's not really your concern, but I feel very sad and very alone. The worst part was being wide awake and not feeling like there was anyone I could talk to - mostly because everyone I know is married and asleep by a reasonable time - and also because even I'm sick to death of talking about this. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. No one I talk to knows what's going on and all the guesses in the world about what he might be thinking/feeling/doing isn't going to help anything. This is between me and what's-his-name. And apparently it's just between me and my broken little heart. I knew this was going to happen. I guess I should've abandoned ship long ago. Crap.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tired of it All
While part of me would like to vent and moan and cry (well, I am crying, but I mean if there was a written form of crying), I'm not really sure what good it would do. I've been up most of the night, unable to sleep due to an upset stomach and too many negative thoughts in my head. I can't figure out what's going on and I fear the worst. I know it's not really your concern, but I feel very sad and very alone. The worst part was being wide awake and not feeling like there was anyone I could talk to - mostly because everyone I know is married and asleep by a reasonable time - and also because even I'm sick to death of talking about this. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. No one I talk to knows what's going on and all the guesses in the world about what he might be thinking/feeling/doing isn't going to help anything. This is between me and what's-his-name. And apparently it's just between me and my broken little heart. I knew this was going to happen. I guess I should've abandoned ship long ago. Crap.
Sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteoh i KNOW the kind of nights you're talking about. one of my friends just complained of having one of her own earlier this week. for me prayer is the only thing that works. i also take some benadryl to help me stay asleep. my friend read her ensign to chase away the negative thoughts and replace them with more hopeful ones. i say whatever speaks calm and sense to you seek it out - like a good dose of sunlight when you're sick. maybe you need to get off early today and walk the park. i'd be happy to leave early and meet you at liberty around 5 if you want!
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