For the past week we've been talking about great picture opportunities with celebrities who were accomodating enough to pause and take a picture with me. But what about those who are not so kind and generous? Do all celebrities say yes to your photo request, Pinky? I'm glad you asked. The answer, sadly, is a resounding no. And so, to mix things up a little, I present the Top Five Douchebag Celebrities (aka The Ones Who Said No).
A few years ago, I saw Ryan Reynolds walking down Main Street (here's a tip - if you don't want your picture taken and/or don't want to pose with fans like the douchebag that you are, DO NOT walk Main Street) and made the mistake of asking for a picture. His response, "I'm in a hurry." Man, I loved that guy on
Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place. Too bad he dumped Alanis and turned into a prick.
Kim Kardashian was the first celebrity (I use that term loosely to say the least) I saw at the Festival last year. When I asked for a picture, she said no, she was trying to get somewhere (meanwhile, her and Reggie Bush were leisurely walking down Main Street luring the paparrazi to take their pictures). I wanted to scream after her and say, "I didn't really want your stupid picture anyway, but you were here and I thought I'd flatter you. FINE, be that way. I don't even like you."
Yeah, that'll teach her to say no to the Pink.
Based on his adorable character on
Sweet Home Alabama, I mistakenly assumed Josh Lucas would be just as adorable in real life. Wrong. He was so classy that when I asked for a picture, he wouldn't even look at me, just hung his head low and pretended I didn't exist. Finally his manager said, "It's not a good time right now." Um, OK....
Kirsten Dunst (terrible picture completely intentional) was a total bitch at last year's festival. I'm not just saying that because she rejected me (The horror! The audacity! The nerve!). I heard several stories which claimed she started screaming, "I'm not an animal! Leave me alone!" Whoo. Guess it's tough to have a movie you directed in the festival. When I asked her for a picture, she said, "Not right now" (mind you, it was just her and me on the steps, no one around for miles, her obviously not busy or rushing to anything). I wanted to say, "Oh, would another time be better? Because, you're right, I run into you on the street ALL the time. I'll just check back again." Pshaw.
And finally, the biggest Douchebag of them all (capitalization of Douchebag completely intentional), I present Samuel L. Jackson, the only celebrity to give me such a tainted and rude look he actually made me cry. You should be ashamed of yourself, you prick bastard. Stupid purple beret wearing idiot. Perhaps one day I'll share the entire story, but I don't feel like rehashing it tonight. Suffice it to say, he ranks almost lower than TC on my radar (and that's saying A LOT).
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