Hello and welcome to today's edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. Let's get to it.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this in any way: My hatred for Tom Cruise is deep and true. That being said, even if this wasn't TC, if I was walking by on the sidewalk I'd call the authorities stat to report Chester the Molester. Even Suri looks annoyed by his overt displays of affection.

I think Kate Bosworth is beautiful, except for her wonky two-colored eyes which freak me out. Is that normal?

Christina Aguilera is such a chameleon - sometimes she can look OK (even quite lovely), but most of the time, she looks hideous and mainly relies on her, um, assets, to distract us from her less-than-stunning face. What's with the pout? Maybe she's just umcomfortable - she does have two things trying to escape from her shirt.

I love that Dakota Fanning is a cheerleader. It seems like such a normal thing to be for a child superstar like herself. One question: Doesn't it seem like she grew up overnight? I swear she was five years old last week.

And now for today's entry into the Cutest Celebrity Baby contest, I give you Violet Affleck. She's such a Jennifer Garner mini-me it kills me.

By her hand motions, it looks like Mirana Kerr is saying, "What? So my hat's a wee bit ridiculous? So, what? I'm a Victoria's Secret Angel! I can get away with it!" Actually, sweetie, you can't. Is that a hook on the top? Makes me want to put a hot dog on it or something.

Jessica, I realize you're performing at a State Fair (one word: OUCH), but is it necessary to white trash your outfit even more by wearing a Nascar t-shirt? Come on. Have some class. Oh, wait. Sorry. Forgot who we were talking about.
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