Hello and welcome to the Halloween Edition of Celebrity Wrap Up. We've got some scary sights today. Boo!
It's so sweet to see Nicole Ritchie, Joel Madden, and their daughter, Harlow, out at the pumpkin patch. Nicole must have been feeling the Halloween spirit, because she obviously decided to dress up like a bug.
Gwen Stefani almost hit this list five days ago for this ensemble, until I read that this was her egg costume. Phew! I was worried she was trying to pass this off as some love angel music baby freaking outfit.
I have never seen so much yellow in my life. Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott, their son Liam, and their dog, Mimi LaRue (
why is my mind filled with this information? Shoot me now), continue to terrorize their neighbors by blinding them with their yellow spirit. Um, where's the baby? Did they forget they have a new baby? The dog gets to come, but no baby?
Grace Jones (yes, apparently she's still alive) continues to do what she does best: terrorizing small children. Here's my question - Was this really a costume, or, say, Monday night?
Please, God, let this be wacky and spry Australian Paul Hogan (otherwise known as Crocodile Dundee), dressed up for Halloween as a rapidly aging rocker. If he's not, then I don't want to know about it. Ouch.
Katie Holmes has a perfect costume! Can you guess what she is? If you guess a brain-washed-wife-of-alien toting small, frightened Ramona the Pest (seriously, is her haircut NOT Ramona the Pest?), you would be correct! :)
Hey Miley, we get it. You're trashy. You're some sort of success story. You're a role model for young girls the world over. So, why is it that for being only 15-years-old, you look rode hard and put away wet? Who in their right mind would aspire to look like a 40-year-old trailer dweller? 
Kate, sweetie, have you looked in a mirror lately? Obviously the break-up with Owen Wilson, your failed marriage, and whatever trysts were on your agenda are hitting you hard. Brown boots, brown tights, with a boring grey sack dress and a jovial green (possibly stolen from a leprochan) hat? Really? 
Why does Mel Gibson look like he was playing dress up in his father's closet? Why are his pants so saggy and bunched? And when did he get so freaking old?
Juliette Lewis, you're so kitschy and quirky. When I saw you at Sundance years ago, you were radiant and beautiful and I could *almost* see how you landed Brad Pitt (for three years!??!) long ago. However, this outfit....um, what exactly is that? Are you wearing a skirt, pants, tights, what? Did you rip that shirt off your 100-year-old grandmother? And what are you smiling at?
The good news? Lindsey Lesbian is finally not wearing those hideous leggings. The bad news? I don't think she's wearing much of anything. Um, does she think those tights are passing as leggings and/or pants? Because the skirt (if you can call it that) barely covers her hoo-haw. Honey, just because you're batting for the other team now doesn't mean clothing is optional.
(Side note: I don't think you'd scream if you found this in your purse, Shmegan). :)
Dinner was fun and it was nice to get caught up - especially since my friend Inge is completely Facebook obsessed (like a few other people I know) and I always enjoy talking to fellow fans. Plus, I got to hear a few blind date stories that put my sad stories to shame. :) Ah, the life of a mid-thirties single girl....
Do you notice that the Diet Pepsi smile is significantly smaller than the Pepsi smile? What exactly is that about? I call foul.
Is it wrong that I kind of love this outfit? I can't find a single thing out of the ordinary with it. What's that? It's just me? Yeah, that's what I figured. Oh, and this is Jordan - she's some sort of UK celebrity (yes, my mind is even filled with useless trivia regarding celebs across the pond. Go figure). 
The small animal around her shoulders notwithstanding, does Jessica look like a bobblehead to you? I'm surprised she doesn't fall over.
Alas, the celebrity trend of never cutting their child's hair continues. Why is Celine wearing a tent?
I realize Joaquin Phoenix just declared his intention of retiring from acting, but when did he become homeless? Shouldn't that happen *after* he's a washed-up has-been?
My goodness Gwen Stefani makes adorable children! Even cuter? Kingston (her oldest son) is riding in the wheelbarrow with Ruby Sweetheart, the daughter of Tobey Maguire. I see a future supercouple...