An Open Letter to Jessica Simpson

Dear Jessica (or can I just call you Idiot?),

Today I opened my People magazine and saw your picture on the cover next to the words, "How I Found Love Again." You go on to declare that: "Tony Romo is the love of my life." Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing from The Newlyweds debacle? Why must you curse yourself so? While I generally dislike everything about you and hate the fact that I'm even referencing you on my blog today, I felt strongly about asking you just what the hell is going through that overly processed, bleached blonde head of yours? Have you no shame? Why pimp out yet another relationship? You know that just jinxes it. You know you're going to end up alone and living with your perverted, way-too-involved, holier than thou father.

I had hope for you that you'd learned your lesson, or that perhaps your sister's good fortune would rub off on you, but, alas, that's not to be.

Hard times, Simpson. Hard times.

Sincerely,

A concerned and disgusted non-fan