Working in a Cubicle Farm is Truly a Joy

There are some days when being at work is somewhat pleasant (well, for it being work) and tolerable and then there are days like today. For some reason, I am seated in between a few of the loudest, rudest people on earth. Bless their hearts, I don't think they realize how vile and miserable they are, but they truly make my ears bleed. On one side, we have the not-only-am-I-loud-but-I-think-it's-OK-to-talk-with-my-mouth-full-of-food girl. On another side, we have clips-her-nails-at-her-desk-despite-the-fact-that-it's-the-most-annoying-noise-on-earth girl. To combat these barbaric noises, I quietly sit in

my cubicle blasting my iPod louder than any iPod should ever be played. I'm positive I'm losing my hearing by each passing second, but it's worth it to avoid listening to the no-manners-twins around me. One of these days I'm afraid I'm going to snap (who, me?) and bite their heads off and when that day comes they'll most likely run away whimpering because the mean pink lady lost her damn mind and went bat-shit crazy on the entire cubicle farm. It will not be a pretty sight to be sure. Hopefully it won't come to that, but you never know. Perhaps I can refer them to some sort of charm school. Do they still have those? I can mysteriously leave coupons to charm school on their desks. Yes, that would be completely subtle and appropriate. Why didn't I think of it before??