Quite Possibly the Best Response Ever

So, most people know that I've got some profiles out on some dating sites. Totally not a big deal at all, I just think that you can meet a variety of people in different ways, so I'm open to whatever. Granted, sometimes I don't have the best of luck (as evidenced by my many, many stories), but when you think about it, it's really only going to work out ONE time, so all these other experiences help me learn what I don't want and get me one step closer to "the one," right? OK, I know, that totally sounded like touchy feely garbage. The truth is that all these experiences make for great blog stories, so I go through hell for you, my loyal reader. :) ha!Anyway, my point in the post today is that I received quite possibly the funniest response to an ad I've ever seen. In fact, he almost sounds like he could be the male version of me - look how funny he is. OK, that may have sounded a little bit cocky, so I apologize, but he's done a very stellar job in getting my attention. Without any further ado, here's his reply (I've changed the color to blue, so you know which part is his):Whose idea was it to put a subject line on e-mails? I break out in a sweat and just about hyperventilate trying to be witty. I give up. On the subject line. Not on the rest of the e-mail which you have probably gathered by the fact that letters continue to appear. Rambling letters but letters none the less. Let me make it easy on you and get my age out of the way, it may save you some reading time that you could be using much more productively like sorting the pens in your desk by color and clicky and not clicky. I am 46. Nice talking to you. Hell you probably quit at clicky. I do like the sound of it, say it out loud with me...clicky...nice. Unlike 98.64% of men looking online I am actually single. When I say single I don't mean that my wife and I are going through a bad spell and I slept on the couch one night last month, or we are separated ....... no seriously ...... we are ..... but I can only give you my cell phone number because my phone is being tapped by the government because I know the truth about aliens and their plan to overtake man kind. I am honest to God single and have been for 5 years. Actually 5 years this month! I hadn't thought of that until just now. Happy anniversary to me! I wonder what day...well.. tomorrow it will be July....so then it is 5 years. My first lie. Awesome...got that out of the way now I can lie all I want!! I read quite a bit and love music, but not rap and country. I like to garden and as I write this I am watching the hummingbirds at my feeder. That said I want to assure you that I am incredibly straight. I am flexing to prove it. See. Very macho. I think I will go eat some raw meat. Manly man. Do you read, do you like music? What are you doing online? You are beautiful, I can't imagine dating is a problem for a woman as pretty as you. My picture is old. I shaved the facial hair, and my hair is shorter. And....I gained 300 lbs and actually I am now bald with a tattoo of eyes and a mouth on the back of my head. And I shaved my eyebrows. Yeah. That is what I did.

So, what do we think? Funny, huh? Don't worry, I've edited out any parts that may be revealing to him and his true identity. I won't even tell you his name or share his pic. I just thought what he said was so witty and clever. It definitely brought a smile to my face.