Oh, crap. I forgot - I'm not Catholic. Well, there goes that plan. I wasn't sure if I was going to continue the "mandates" because maybe I should just stop talking about everything going on. But, what good does that do? 
On Friday, I ran into Blader at the park. He told me he'd been "looking for me" since I last saw him - um, here's an idea. How about you just use my number and/or email address and contact me. Is that so hard? Sheesh. Then, I ended up hanging out with 28 for a few hours while he finished his shift. It was nice. I learned a lot of stuff about him and was happy to get out of my head and see that most times things aren't about me. See, I have a tendency to take everything personally (what?!?!) and I really need to learn that everyone has stuff going on in their lives that has absolutely nothing to do with me. So, I thought our time together in the park was well spent. I'm not going to share his life story, but suffice it to say that he's got a ton of crap going on right now and I should probably just get out of the way and let him deal with it at his own rate. 
So, here's what's depressing - I really thought I was starting to grow and think about what I was learning from all these people. Yesterday morning I was talking to my friend Kat and telling her the lessons I'd learned from each of my recent beaus, and even said the lessons I could see learning from 28 (heck, I can even see a silver lining from the Triangle relationship). When we went to the market, McHeidi said I had the "glow" of dating a younger man (whatever that means). 
During my walk yesterday, I ran into 28 while a bunch of crap went wrong at his job. I know I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it had nothing to do with me, but I ended up in the way of his frustration and it didn't feel good at all. I haven't wanted to talk about it, because I feel responsible in some way, but I know I didn't do anything to provoke it. At the end of it all, he told me to just leave him alone, and I walked away. Briskly. Thankfully, he chased me down across the park to apologize and give me a hug, but it still smarts a bit. I'm way too sensitive to be the object of someone's temporary rage. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. At the same time, I was really happy he realized the error of his ways immediately and chased me down. It's not like I'm an innocent bystander - I've totally flipped out on people before and then apologized. I don't know why it happens, but it does on occasion, and then you move on. 
During my walk yesterday, I ran into 28 while a bunch of crap went wrong at his job. I know I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it had nothing to do with me, but I ended up in the way of his frustration and it didn't feel good at all. I haven't wanted to talk about it, because I feel responsible in some way, but I know I didn't do anything to provoke it. At the end of it all, he told me to just leave him alone, and I walked away. Briskly. Thankfully, he chased me down across the park to apologize and give me a hug, but it still smarts a bit. I'm way too sensitive to be the object of someone's temporary rage. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. At the same time, I was really happy he realized the error of his ways immediately and chased me down. It's not like I'm an innocent bystander - I've totally flipped out on people before and then apologized. I don't know why it happens, but it does on occasion, and then you move on. 
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