Once upon a time, I had a kitten named Fluffy. She was a beautiful, gray fuzzy kitten who I loved as much as any five-year-old could love a fluffy kitten. Alas, my love for Fluffy was not to be, as my terribly mean parents (of course they're not terribly mean, but at the time I certainly thought so) gave Fluffy away willy nilly to some random schmo (is that how you spell schmo? It somehow looks wrong) from the street (in truth, I have no idea who adopted my beloved kitten, only that they were incredibly rude to take away my love like that). From that day on, I decided my heart would no longer be open to cats. And so it's been for thirty years.
Imagine my surprise to learn that somehow my newfound
Hello Kitty love would translate into people thinking I've somehow turned into a cat person. In the past year I've been besieged by cat gifts the world over. So, let me make a declaration once and for all:
I AM NOT A CAT PERSON. At all. In any way, shape, or form. Cats do not like me and I do not like them. I don't fault people for loving their cats, I realize this does occur, and that's great for them. Fantastic. Knock yourselves out. But I do not share that love.
Hello Kitty is a
cartoon. Not a real cat. Yes, I have a fish,
Sweet Pea, and I love my fish, but note: It is NOT a cat. I would never own a cat because I'd most likely run it over with my car (oh crap, did I say that out loud?) and PETA would be all over my cat-hating
ass. So, if you're ever in a store and some sort of cat trinket strikes your fancy as a gift for me,
even if it's a pink cat (now that's a bold statement which speaks volumes in itself), resist the urge. I don't want it. I already hate it and will instantly re-gift it (yeah, I said it).
Walk away from the cat (unless it's some
Hello Kitty memorabilia, because in that case, buy it!) and don't look back. :)
Once upon a time, I had a kitten named Fluffy. She was a beautiful, gray fuzzy kitten who I loved as much as any five-year-old could love a fluffy kitten. Alas, my love for Fluffy was not to be, as my terribly mean parents (of course they're not terribly mean, but at the time I certainly thought so) gave Fluffy away willy nilly to some random schmo (is that how you spell schmo? It somehow looks wrong) from the street (in truth, I have no idea who adopted my beloved kitten, only that they were incredibly rude to take away my love like that). From that day on, I decided my heart would no longer be open to cats. And so it's been for thirty years.
ass. So, if you're ever in a store and some sort of cat trinket strikes your fancy as a gift for me, even if it's a pink cat (now that's a bold statement which speaks volumes in itself), resist the urge. I don't want it. I already hate it and will instantly re-gift it (yeah, I said it). Walk away from the cat (unless it's some Hello Kitty memorabilia, because in that case, buy it!) and don't look back. :)
I've learned so much about you, just from this blog! Love it! Did you happen to notice the caption under the ceiling kitty?
ReplyDeleteWho was dumb enough to think that love of Hello Kitty = love of actual kitties? If you had a cat, I'd run it over for you!
ReplyDelete