And now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Pinky’s Mandate (which is the man update – my friend Marisol came up with that. Cute, no?). When we last checked in, she was barraged with four different characters – Trucker, Flaker, Stalker, and Biter. What’s the latest news, you ask? I know, you’re all on the edge of your seats. 
Trucker is on the road. Permanently. Somehow, I don’t see that working out, especially since the last time I saw him was the beginning of May when he left pink roses and a birthday card on my doorstep (and then proceeded to break-up with me via said birthday card – despite the fact that I had no idea we were officially going out). While he does check in from the road, and has invited me to “drive around” with him for a week (thanks, but that’s a BIG NO, good buddy), I’m thinking overall it’s just not going to take flight (see what I did there? He drives and I said take flight. I'm so hysterical I can hardly stand it). 
Flaker has been kicked off the roster. Of course, I haven’t told him that he’s been bumped yet, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out. I’m sick of him dragging his feet and even though he’s my absolute favorite and the one I’d drop everyone else for, I can’t wait forever. He can hit the road.
Stalker has pulled one of his infamous disappearing acts. Whatever. Nothing new there. He’s too deep into therapy right now anyway and therefore not half as much fun. I’d rather him be footloose and fancy free than dissecting everything and being morose and glum. No, thank you. Take a walk. Perhaps you can catch up with Trucker and Flaker on their way out?
Biter….oh Biter. I’m afraid that I ran into him (this is hard for me even to say and once I reveal it, I’m going to instantly regret it) sleeping/*possibly* living in his car in the park the other day as I was walking. Um, I have no response to that. When we first met in February, he wasn’t working and didn’t really have a place to stay (so he moved around and stayed with various friends), but on the positive side, we got to hang out a lot. Now that he has a job, I kind of thought the other part (his living situation) would be rectified as well. Sadly, he works way too much and I see him every other week, if at all. Blurgh. I think I preferred him unemployed and watching Lost with me on a regular basis. 
Now, for the rookie trying out for the roster, we have Gardener (or 28 or “The Kid” – I haven’t quite settled on his name). He’s so young, though, and just broke up with his girlfriend. Why have I managed to become the person who gets men to their next relationships? I seem to have fallen into a weird vortex that makes me the rebound girl in EVERY situation, regardless of whether or not I want to be starring in that role. My sister says it’s my calling – to be the transition girl. Blech. I think I’d rather be single. Oh wait, I AM single. I forgot. 
Trucker is on the road. Permanently. Somehow, I don’t see that working out, especially since the last time I saw him was the beginning of May when he left pink roses and a birthday card on my doorstep (and then proceeded to break-up with me via said birthday card – despite the fact that I had no idea we were officially going out). While he does check in from the road, and has invited me to “drive around” with him for a week (thanks, but that’s a BIG NO, good buddy), I’m thinking overall it’s just not going to take flight (see what I did there? He drives and I said take flight. I'm so hysterical I can hardly stand it). Flaker has been kicked off the roster. Of course, I haven’t told him that he’s been bumped yet, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out. I’m sick of him dragging his feet and even though he’s my absolute favorite and the one I’d drop everyone else for, I can’t wait forever. He can hit the road.Stalker has pulled one of his infamous disappearing acts. Whatever. Nothing new there. He’s too deep into therapy right now anyway and therefore not half as much fun. I’d rather him be footloose and fancy free than dissecting everything and being morose and glum. No, thank you. Take a walk. Perhaps you can catch up with Trucker and Flaker on their way out?Biter….oh Biter. I’m afraid that I ran into him (this is hard for me even to say and once I reveal it, I’m going to instantly regret it) sleeping/*possibly* living in his car in the park the other day as I was walking. Um, I have no response to that. When we first met in February, he wasn’t working and didn’t really have a place to stay (so he moved around and stayed with various friends), but on the positive side, we got to hang out a lot. Now that he has a job, I kind of thought the other part (his living situation) would be rectified as well. Sadly, he works way too much and I see him every other week, if at all. Blurgh. I think I preferred him unemployed and watching Lost with me on a regular basis. Now, for the rookie trying out for the roster, we have Gardener (or 28 or “The Kid” – I haven’t quite settled on his name). He’s so young, though, and just broke up with his girlfriend. Why have I managed to become the person who gets men to their next relationships? I seem to have fallen into a weird vortex that makes me the rebound girl in EVERY situation, regardless of whether or not I want to be starring in that role. My sister says it’s my calling – to be the transition girl. Blech. I think I’d rather be single. Oh wait, I AM single. I forgot. 
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