True Love Lasts Forever

I have a confession: I LOVE LOVE LOVE (that's triple love) Ricky Schroder. Hopelessly. Madly. Truly. Deeply. My love affair started when he looked like this (see pic above - of course he's pretty and gay looking - would I have it any other way?) and has only grown with the passing years. As a child, the walls and door of my room (that I shared with my sister) were plastered with pictures of Ricky - pictures lovingly torn from the pages of Bop, Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, and any other celebrity rag I could convince my mom to buy me at the store (as a side note, any and all pics of my beloved Duran Duran were also torn out and put into the most ghetto of all scrapbooks ever made). In fact, for my 12th birthday, my mom had the bakery put a real life picture of Ricky's cute face on my cake and I ate his lips. Obsessed. I know.
I'm not going to lie to you - he's still my #1 celebrity. Before Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (who are tied for fifth), before Owen and Luke Wilson (tied for fourth), before Benicio del Toro (who's #3 and I met at my first Sundance in 2002 - let's just save that story for another day, shall we?), and even before Nic Cage (#2 and who, as we all know, I worship as well). So, when I found out that Ricky (and yes, it is Ricky, not Rick as he tried to pull off unsuccessfully for years) was coming to SLC to speak, let's just say I almost peed my pants. Almost crashed my car. Almost went spontaneously deaf, blind, and dumb all at once. I couldn't believe it. Still can't believe it. The blessed event is two days away and I can't stop worrying about it. I'm dreaming about it. My stomach has decided to do butterflies starting....now. Will he let me take a pic? Will I be able to speak? Will I be able to be kind and decent to his wife (his blonde, Mormon, waitress wife that he met while filming Lonesome Dove) without coveting what is rightfully hers? Does it really matter? I'm mainly afraid I won't be able to speak. After the Benico del Toro debacle (again, we can revisit it another day, but let's just say I forgot to breathe, couldn't stop shaking, and my hair caught on fire), will I really be able to pull of meeting #1? Benicio is only #3 and I couldn't function...what will #1 do?

I'm so nervous. "Ricky Schroder Day" is two days away and I can't stop thinking about it. What if my 25-year-long love confession slips out? What if I start crying when he looks at me? What if I reveal I've also got pictures with Alfonso Ribiero and Jason Bateman (also from Silver Spoons) and I just need him to complete the trifecta? I'm a mess. I have hundreds of pictures with celebrities - BIG, huge celebrities - and Ricky Schroder is going to be the death of me. Then again, if I ever met Duran Duran, I'd probably pee myself as well. Maybe I should wear a diaper on Saturday??? :)